7 Reasons Why You Will Never Do Anything Amazing With Your Life

This is brilliant.


Yup, listen to an Old Fart.

Yeah that’s right, you heard me… I’m talking to you… I’m calling you out.

I’m looking you in the eyes (OK well, not really since you are probably reading this article, but figuratively, I am burning a cyclops type hole in your face right now) and telling you that you don’t stand a chance.

I’m telling you that if you can read this article, look through this list and not claim it as your own, then you should be a little worried.

Actually, you should be very worried. You should drop everything and immediately question your existence on earth. You should find a mirror, look yourself in the eyes, raise your hand and slap yourself in the face.

Got it? Now repeat that until you come to your senses and continue reading whenever you’re ready.

I’m Talkin’ Bout Street Skill, Son!

I’m not talking…

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My First Post

Well this is cool. I’m starting a blog. Awesome. :).

This blog has a character, a persona in and of its connective tissue. And like other blogs and indeed all of the other peripheral living things that exist and are alive, it might grow, and be bigger, and be better, when it gets fed. Not real food, metaphorical food like words.

I’m talking a load of bovine faeces.

But I’m looking forward to writing this blog. Blogging is quite a novel endeavour for me. I’ve never really gotten into the blog balls that are romantically described by the people inside them. (humour aye). They’ve seemed enticing, but I have traditionally been a man (3rd year undergraduate biomedical engineering student) who hates people slowly and torturously shovelling little spoons of artificial sugar into my mouth and to avoid this situation I transformed and began to only read blogs through links from google or wikipedia or some articles on maths because mathematicians try their very hardest not to talk shit.

I will certainly envision nothing less of mine, so there is your permission slip to get cross with me for being at all palaverous or circumlocutory (be nice please). And I don’t want to be too elliptical either but that is a habit I fall into sometimes when the wind changes.

Anyway I hope you enjoy my blog if you are reading this, perhaps this, miveryfirsteva post, is months or years or decades or… ago for you and perhaps it now tastes dull and bitter and floury for you for a lack of colour in its cheeks and a deficiency of insightful nutrition in its bones, but lets hope that it still fruits interesting things to nourish the minds and the souls of the good people that read it.

I’m excited :).